


Santa? Really?

by Robin Gills (Akiseo)



Category: Boston Legal
Genre: Advent Calendar, Challenges, Charity Auctions, Christmas, Holidays, M/M, Slash, Slash Advent Calender, santa suit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-12
Updated: 2012-09-12
Packaged: 2017-11-14 02:35:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/510407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiseo/pseuds/Robin%20Gills
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Charity work. One reluctant volunteer, sex in a Santa suit and a wedding ceremony.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Santa? Really?

**Author's Note:**

> Part of the SAC-2005 at: http://www.kardasi.com/Advent/2005/  
> My first BL fic, but I think it worked out with the help of my betas Farfalla and Hypatia.  
> Title from a Chandler line in "The One with the Holiday Armadillo".

Alan strolled slowly around the occupants of the large ballroom. He took a sip of the champagne in his right hand, sighed, and looked around. Where was that errant friend of his? He didn’t need to look long as he heard a not too familiar pick up line, a good solid slap, and high heals retreating. He barely managed to restrain himself from rolling his eyes skyward as Denny strode into view with a broad smile and rubbing his left cheek.

"I did not agree to come to this agonizing wedding with you just so you could reassert your heterosexuality to Boston at large," Alan said, turning and making his way towards their table.

Denny smiled casually as he strolled next to him. “But I’m not.”

“Not what? Not straight? Not keeping me from spending a comfortable night in bed doing all sorts of activities from reading to-- ?” 

Denny stopped him before Alan could continue. “No, my queer friend, none of that stuff you just said. Besides I thought you wanted to spend time with me-- just the other day you mentioned how we haven’t spent much time together lately.” They finally worked their way through the crowd to their table. 

“Hmm, true but I think I also said that I wanted to spend that time in a place with lots of sheets and a soft mattress.”

“Alan, please! We’re in the presence of Republicans!” Denny whispered, slouching into his chair and covering part of his face as if the whole ballroom was a throng of angry homophobes and they were hunting.

Alan could only look to the ceiling. “So how long must we stay so we can say we made an adequate appearance?”

“Well I’d say five, but we’ve already been here fifteen.” Denny said from his slouched position. 

“Well, let’s have a few more drinks and call it a night. Shirley will never know we didn’t stay long enough to see the bunny shuffle thing.” Alan said as he snagged a few drinks of a passing waiter.

Denny just grunted.

\---

Alan lounged in one of the chairs in Denny’s office, lightly snoozing; it had been a rather late night. Of course they’d left the wedding rather early, so there was nothing to stop Denny’s raging testosterone. If indeed there is anything that could slow the great Denny Crane. 

Denny swept in with his usual gusto and Shirley followed in his wake, rousing Alan from his comfortable position. 

“You can’t run Denny Crane!” 

“I must say, Shirley, your entrance into this office leaves something to be desired.” Denny turned and then shouted “Denny Crane does not run! He jaunts!”

Shirley rolled her eyes to a degree that could make a teenage proud, “I’m just going to get right to it. Denny has already chosen to enlightened me that the wedding was ridiculously boring, and there was something about a Republican coup that I didn’t quite understand” Shirley paused as Denny and Alan passed glances at each other. “But I’m not here to talk about that. Each year around Christmas the firm needs to demonstrate our caring and generosity. Seeing as both Paul and I subjected ourselves to this job the previous two years, it’s your turn, Denny.” 

“What? Haven’t we done enough charity work, after that wedding thing?” Denny protested and attempted to glare Shirley down, but changed tactics by sighing and waved his hand around at Alan “Well, have Alan do it. He’s much more of a people person.”

“While I won’t deny that Alan is more apt than you in the social department, you are a senior partner which makes you the one that needs to do the job.” Shirley said preparing to her stand her ground.

“I’ll do it, if I can take him.” Denny said quickly pointing at Alan

Shirley seemed to be knocked off balance at Denny’s quick cave in. “Alright… You’re to report to the Cambridge Side Galleria mall around 6:15 pm on Saturday.” She seemed to have more to say but decided instead to give them the prying eye as she left.

“Well, you gave that one up rather easily-- and since when did I become your bartering tool?” Alan asked, raising his eyebrow elegantly as Denny began closing the window hangings.

“Since now, and its fun to catch her off her guard every once in awhile. Keeps her guessing. Besides we can have a quick romp. I have fifteen minutes before my next thing.” Denny said as he shut the last of the window shades and locked the door. 

“Ah, the ulterior motive presents itself.” Alan said smiling slightly as he was backed up against his desk and his pants dropped around his ankles. 

\---

Saturday came more quickly then Denny had wanted. Alan and Denny found themselves in an overcrowded mall with holiday shoppers. “Great, we go from a crowded reception to a crowded mall.” Denny groused as they made their way to the center were the Santa display was set up. 

“Don’t think about that.” Alan said, in a much cheerier voice than his partner’s and pointing to several Christmas window exhibits. “Look at all the cute displays!” 

“That’s the thing-- who could see the windows with so many people?” Denny said, frowning. He really didn’t mind too much though, since the crowds were pressing them so close together that he could smell Alan’s cologne and that smell that was always left on his pillow. It was making him horny!

They finally pressed their way though the crowd to the Santa hut,, with a long line of adults and children waiting. “What do you think they’re going to make us do?” Denny asked as they headed for the small door that blended into the mall wall on the right.

“We’ll probably just be in charge of keeping the line in order or something small.” Alan said after they asked a guy in a funny looking elf costume to whom they should report. 

They where directed to a door beside the Toys’R’Us. The lawyers proceeded to walk down a long corridor with bits of holiday signs, from Christmas to Easter, lying haphazardly around making a creepy escort to the bowels of the mall. “Well, I’m not wearing a costume. I bet they don’t even have one that fits me.” Denny said, still grouching. They came out of the tunnel and into a large room. There were several large Santa suits set out on a table mixed with elf costumes. 

“I think they’ll come up with something.” Alan said, smirking.

\---

Half an hour later, Alan was in his elf costume and Denny was finally in a costume of his own. It’d taken quite awhile for Alan to persuade Denny into his Santa costume. 

“Well, I think the Grinch stole Christmas.” Alan said, smiling as Denny walked out of the changing room. Instead of the white Santa beard he wore a grimace across his face. 

“Why did I get stuck with the Santa suit?” Denny said, grumbling.

“I would think that would be obvious. Now smile nice for the kiddies!” Alan said plopping the Santa hat on as Denny adjusted the faux beard. “Besides, their might be one child who’s more eager to sit on Santa’s lap than the others.” Alan whispered into Denny’s ear. 

“That’s disgusting-- I’m not a pedophile.” Denny said, frowning as he turned to face him. “Have I been sending the wrong signals?”

“Denny” Alan said, trying to keep the smile off his face “I meant that elves get whishes too, right?”

“What’s gotten into you? Why would any of those teenagers want to sit on Santa’s lap?” Denny asked, quirking a dark eyebrow that contrasted with the other white facial hair. 

Alan now couldn’t manage to keep exasperation from sneaking onto his features. “I meant me.” 

“Oh!” Alan’s clarification was met with surprise and then bemusement “Santa? Really?”

Alan shrugged his shoulders “Flamingos? Really?” 

Denny smiled excitedly “Never mind.”

“Right.”

\---

Denny whipped off the Santa hat as soon as he entered the tunnel leading to the changing rooms. He was sweating slightly in the large suit and his eyes and nose was running from trying to keep his eyes open for all the pictures he had to pose for. He thanked God that it’d be another three years before he’d have to do something like this again. He made his way towards the large room at the end of the corridor. He’d lost track of Alan-- the elf had been assigned many jobs over the three and a half hours Denny had to endure kids explain in detail exactly what they wanted. 

He reached the large room and looked around for his elf. He didn’t find a hint of him anywhere. There weren’t many people left in the room-- most had changed and were cleaning the Santa hut for the night, preparing for the next day. Denny decided to change, believing Alan had been drafted into cleaning as well. 

Denny entered the last changing cubicle, closed the door and began pealing off the black gloves. Warm and green clad arms wrapped around him and a voice floated into his ear. “I always thought you’d make a good Santa.” 

Denny was released and he turned to find that his elf had turned rather wanton. Alan had positioned the shirt so that it slipped over his left shoulder. His stripped socks were hanging low and his bell shoes were absent. 

“Is that supposed to be sexy?” Denny asked curious

“It’s hard to make an elf costume look sexy. Come on play along.” Alan said calmly and waited for Denny to respond.

“Well, then, has my helper-elf been good this year?” Denny asked, playing the game  
“I’ve done my best to serve you Santa,” Alan said in a humble voice but smirked slightly at the end. 

“Well, if you’ve done your best I think you deserve a reward.” Denny said as he sat on the small ledge and patted his knee, his desire already raring to go.

“But all the other elves will be jealous.” Alan said in a childlike voice as he walked to stand in between Denny’s legs. 

“Not if they don’t find out.” Denny said as he reached underneath the large green smock and gently tugged the green shorts down. Denny’s arousal grew as he found Alan was only wearing the elf shorts. 

Denny found himself losing control as he stood up and kissed those refined lips. They both kissed carelessly at first and then turned to other things. He stocked Alan’s length slowly, but turned impatient and cast off the elf shorts entirely. Denny let his own red pants fall as he turned Alan around to brace himself on the bench. Alan shoved a small bottle into his hand.

Denny quickly finished the preparation and it didn’t take long before they were both sweating and holding in their grunts. They’d gotten better at stifling their howls when they were in public areas, but they both let out small cries as their actions slowed and finished. 

Sometime later they were both leaning against the changing room wall. Alan had managed to prop himself up against Denny’s larger form and doze. Denny woke sooner and nudged Alan into awareness. 

“Who would have though you had a Santa fetish?” Denny said, smiling.

“I don’t have a Santa fetish-- just when you’re wearing the costume. Though, granted, I may never look at Santa the same way again.” Alan said as they both changed back into their civilian clothes. 

“Christmas is going to be a whole new experience.” Denny said as they walked towards the exit. Once they reached the end, however, they found the doors to be locked. 

“How do you suppose we get out of here?” Alan asked after Denny attempted to smash the door down in heroic fashion.

“I don’t know, but I say if we’re spending the night we should check out that Easter Bunny costume I saw in the back.” Denny said, walking back.

“What is it with you and animals?” Alan asked.

“Are we really going to go there?” Denny asked.

“I suppose not.”


End file.
